Yours always
by LenaKaitoKuroiRico
Summary: AU after season 7 where Balthazar saves Cas and... one hairless ape from the Purgatory. And it's written more like series of droubles than whole fic. Also this idea came into my mind when I was reading "Divine Comedy"... classic is really helpfull sometimes for imagination ps but I really stuck with Balthazar real identity so...if you have any ideas for my imagination... please


It's dark and cold. I would also say scary if only I could really feel that emotion. Because no matter that I'm broken and lost, I'm still an angel. Fallen angel in the center of Purgatory with only beasts (souls that lost all human or angelic, showing no mercy) around, with no hope on escape. All alone… except Dean… It was my entire fault that he's appeared here. If only I was a little wiser, not so prideful and fool, maybe, I wouldn't let it happens, won't let Leviathans out at all. But it's useless to think about what could and couldn't happen "if"… Soldier of Heaven. Look at me now… Little coward, that is hiding, three or four miles away from his...from a human. Dean is probably screaming my name and swearing, but I just can't… I need some time, space…anything before I could return to him and for eternity now on hear only different variations of "It was your fault, it's all because of…"

- Look out!

Suddenly I feel strong push and fall to the ground, watching like black shadow closes its jaws ten or so centimeters away from my face. Before this lost soul could attack me again, my unexpected savior's arms press me to his chest. One moment – and we are far away. After that he begins to move away, freeing me from his grip. And it's time for me to say something, to thank…

- I appreciate your help.

Light chuckle in return.

- Heh, I see you haven't changed much without me, have you?

This voice makes me stiffen with astonishment. Because it's…

-… Balthazar?  
I raise my head to witness his cocky smile.

- Hello, Cas. Good to see you again.

- So, as I said before, good to see you and all, but what are you doing here, in Purgatory? – He asks me with the same warm smile as always.

- It was an accident. Dean and I…

- Nothing is an accident when it comes to Winchesters. By the way, you know I'm always all for having a sweet little chat with you, Cas, but I think we really should move on before some other creature'll come here and find us.

- And what about Dean? We need to take him with us.

- Oh, for Father's sake, this hairless ape!

Balthazar seems so angry but after some time he sighs in defeat.

- Fine, we'll take your precious Dean with us.

I don't really understand what made him change his mind. But I'm glad he agreed with me. Because it's…right.  
- Thank you.

- You just can't be without him, yeah?

His voice is full of sad notes and…despair. And I'm not really sure why my brother feels exactly these emotions speaking about Dean. Sometimes…I just can't fully understand my brother. There is always something that I'm trying to catch but always miss when it comes to Balthazar and his big, enormous problem with Dean.

Instead of answer I just shrug my shoulders. Of course I can't be without Dean. It's not even a question. It's long forgotten now but I was his guarding angel once and his appearance here, all those problems with Leviathans… It's entirely my fault.

- Dean's in the middle of the forest, near the East Gates.

- Heh, you've chosen the worst place to make a camp.

I sigh. All this talks, they just raise my guilt few levels up. I brought Dean here and then left him alone in one of the most dangerous place in the whole world.

- It wasn't my wish. It was all Leviathans.

- Sure.

- What a pity, you're still alive.

We appear right near Dean, who's sitting there all alone in a shadow of a tree.

- Balthazar!  
- Yeah, yeah, I wouldn't say I'm glad to see you. It was Cassie's idea to return and grab you with us, obviously not mine.

Dean stands from the ground and comes closer to us.

- So, let me get this straight, Cas. You left me here all alone to just …hang up with your feather buddies?  
- Oh, bloody hell, he doesn't need to account to you, - Balthazar almost screams.  
- He put Leviathans out!

- And it was you who showed him "free will" and made this happened. I mean…you were the reason he did a lot of things. Almost all the time he did something for or because of you.

- Oh, like you were such a picture of freaking ideal angel and example to him. You stole the weapon…

- Like you've never stolen anything in your life. And I gave it back, all of it, didn't I?

- You were just scared about your own skin. You were with Cas only when he rocked the dancefloor.

- You, hairless ape, I love him but he only see you.

- And if you love him so much, why you faked your own death?

- For Father's sake, you…Winchester, it's really none of business. It was nice to see you, Cas, but I can't contain myself any longer. Your…pet ape really drives me mad.

And with these words he simply disappears.

- Balthazar! You, son of a bitch!

I sigh and turn my head from the spot Balthazar stood just moment ago to the hunter.

- Dean, I don't really think that it was wise to quarrel with him. At least he's been here longer than we.

- And how can you believe him, Cas? You said before that there are only beast here, you know, creatures that lost all human or angelic… Why are you so sure he's on our side?  
- Because he always was.

It wasn't even a question for me. Now I see clearly than even his betrayal… He was trying to save me, he even believed in Winchesters, that they could help… It's kind of ironic that he teamed with persons…person he probably hates the most of all, at least among human.

***

- Here, for this bastard and you, Cassie.

Appearance of Balthazar is as unexpected as what he's holding in his hands. Fruits and some sweet baking.

- Jesus, man, is it a pie? But with all this Dick's corn syrup campaign now…  
- To be honest I wouldn't be so sad if you would turn into some of that zombies, but …it's clear, only organic and healthy.

- If you'd also bring a bottle of whiskey I'd almost begin to trust you.

- You're disgusting and irritating, Winchester, and not funny at all like you think. Cas, would you like something to eat?

- You know I don't need food. I'm flattered and appreciate it, but no, thank you.

- You need to eat, - he said, rising red apple to my lips. - If you really want to get out of here.

- Out…how? Is it even possible, brother? – I ask and take a bite.

- You know, it's kind of funny to watch like one angel feed another with forbidden fruit, - Dean smirks, with his mouth full of pie. Half of dessert is already behind.  
- Oh, shut it up, Winchester!  
I swallow and blush a little.  
- It's not like this, Dean. I think I don't want anything to eat anymore, Balthazar.

- Oh, just fine, you've killed all the mood, stupid ape. Happy now?

- Ecstatic, - Dean moans, through another half of his pie.

Small flick of Balthazar's fingers – and Dean's pie is gone.

- Hey!  
- Try to be nice next time, - brother says with a wicked smile on his lips.

- Freaking angels!

***

- Now we need to turn left, - we've been walking for an hour or so after our… dinner. Balthazar appeared once again and fed me some more fruits. Not that I was really hungry or cannot eat myself, but it made Balthazar (don't know why) happy, so…I wasn't protesting much. I just thought why not? Also fruits were kind of tasty. We ate for 10 or 15 minutes while Dean made those unnecessary like throwing up noises.

And now we are sneaking here. For me and Balthazar it's not such a big problem, but for Dean…sometimes it's a little hard.

- Frigging darkness. Frigging bushes…what they are made of, steel? – Dean says, examining another scratch that looks through the hole in his jeans. – I'm looking like some punk teenager now!  
- Stop whining, Winchester. And turn your voice down. The last thing we need now is a company of funny little local monsters. And I offered you to hold my hand, so you wouldn't lose our path, cause Cas… you know him, he'd be sad if something eats you.

- And walk like you two, like some high school girls? By the way why you even hold his hand? It's not like he can cut himself or slip.

- It makes me feel safer. Also if something attacks I could protect Cas faster.

- And what make you think that it would be Cas who'll need help?

- Let's say your death would be much less painful for me.

- You sonovabitch!

- Dean. Balthazar. It's not a place for fighting.

Dean sighs and takes a little bit offensive my hand in his.

- You know that in the end I'd win? I won't let you take the prize. You don't deserve it. – Balthazar asks hunter.

- What prize? – I put in.

Dean was about to say something but after my question he just shrugs and murmurs "Frigging angels" under his breath. Lately it seems to be his favorite swearing.

***

- Cas, from the right! – Balthazar pushes me to the ground and stands in front of me. – Close your eyes, Winchester. Now!

I lay slightly stunned and look with astonishment like my brother raises his hand toward the creature. Balthazar 's vessel gets brighter and brighter and then sudden flash. Light go wide from his body. This monster has no chance against such strength. Moment later it's over.

- Come on, we have three or four minutes before others'd come here. It's a good weapon, but also amazing radar.

Dean opens his eyes and rises from the ground. It seems like he also fell to it, maybe from the brightness of this stunning light. I…I haven't noticed it… his previous guardian angel… I also get up and stand near Balthazar.

- But how did you? I thought you were dead. If you are just a soul, how could you….

- Oh, none of your business, Winchester.

- Balthazar!

- Yeah, it's my name, now we need to…

- I asked you a question!

- You did. Twice.

- You son of a bitch!

- Dean, - I try to show some sense, - I'm afraid it's really not a place for…

- Why do you think so… Jesus Christ!

Dark shadows, hundreds, thousands… and they all moves our side from the left.

- You hairless ape! Run.

- It's not my fault there are….

- I said: "Run"! Now! I'll try to keep them. We'll meet at the chapel, – he quickly glances last time at me. - Be careful, Cas.

Dean's about to something like always, but I just grab his hand and teleport us, catching from the corner of my eye the sight of my brother's back that begins to brighten.

- Why you even need such a place like chapel in Purgatory? These monsters don't seem for me like someone who wants to pray on Sundays. And where the hell is Balthazar? Almost eternity's gone by since we left him there.

I sigh. I mostly always keep all the feelings deep inside me, but now I ask quietly:

- Do you think he…

- Oh, sorry I didn't mean it like this, Cas. He's probably somewhere…drinking champagne from some stripper's navel or what he usually does.

- Dear gentlemen and… apes, I brought you a dinner.

- Haha, you're not funny, Balthazar.

- Yeah, yeah…my mistake. It's your job to act like you're funny, when you aren't.

- You son of a…

- A-ah, - Balthazar shakes his finger at Dean. – Behave yourself or you won't get your dessert.

- Pie? – Dean's eyes immediately begin to sparkle. – I love you, man!

- That proverb is really about you. Way to your heart is really through your stomach, - Balthazar says tossing to Dean his dessert. – You should really try this, Cas, next time you… Although, know what? Forget all I've just said. By the way, I have you a burger, Cassie. Yours in the bag, Winchester, if you would still be in the mood to eat it after your precious pie.

- Pies are awesome, - Dean says with full mouth.

- Yeah, whatever. Mm… Cas?

- Yes, brother?

- May I feed you?

I open my mouth when Balthazar brings a burger closer.

Dean groans from his pie:

- Seriously, guys, get a room. I almost lost my appetite.

- So you wouldn't eat the last spices of that pie?

- I said "ALMOST". My precious...

- And who needs to get a room?

After dinner we sit near the altar in that chapel. Balthazar with Dean as always immediately starts quarreling. My brother tries to persuade Dean to sleep, implying that humans need rest, but the hunter objects even if he's yawning nonstop.

- You know that Cas is now obsessed with bees? He's even showed on my car NAKED, covered in bees.

- Not such a bad show, hah? Did you like it?  
Hunter just groans.

- Dean? If I made you uncomfortable I'm sorry.

- Don't worry about him, Cas. He's a big boy and will get over it. So… covered in bees? Mm… you know, my vessel was a photographer …Maybe you could show me your…bees sometime. We could make a photosession.

- Gross! – Dean moans again and covers ears with his hands.

- Goodnight, Winchester. Sweet nightmares, sorry…dreams. So, Cas, do you want to tell me about your bees?

Dean groans for a third time.


End file.
